by Hannah Hocutt | Elementary Teacher | International Christian School of Budapest
Decisions, decisions, decisions.
As an adult, I realize just how much of life is based on making decisions. Sometimes it’s easy – which piece of chocolate do I want? The Reese’s Cup, for sure.
Sometimes we face huge decisions that, in our mind, must certainly “shape the unknown future” and create all kinds of changes, like, am I going to extend my time here at ICSB or return to the States?
Either decision would definitely create a ripple effect in all areas of my life. Was I ready for that? I didn’t exactly have the option to avoid this difficulty. One way or another, the decision would be made, and it would “alter my course forever”.
As 2018 drew to a close, it felt like it had just begun yesterday and last year all at the same time! It’s a cliché to say “I had no idea what this year would hold” because we never know what a year will hold, but it’s true nonetheless. Thankfully, our all-knowing and ever faithful Father is never surprised by big decisions.
Big life decisions face us continuously. Coming here to Budapest was a major curve in the road, and it was completely unexpected. After a lot of prayer, I knew this was what God wanted for me. In the fall of 2016, I committed to working at ICSB for two years, completely unaware of all the hardships, growth, blessings, pain, friendships, and beauty those 2 years would hold. It has been another interesting chapter in my life, and I fully expected that chapter to end in 2019.
God had other plans
The time came in November/December to begin making decisions about our staffing needs for the next year. I began praying, asking for guidance in the decision-making, and trusting that God would lead. After a lot (LOT) of prayer and indecision, I was baffled at not receiving clear direction. I was pulled by both worlds (Budapest and Alabama) and was completely unsure of the next steps. There were needs in both – I just didn’t know which one was “right”.
There’s one of my big hang ups. I have this overwhelming feeling that, when facing a decision, one is right and one is wrong. If you choose the wrong one, major consequences will be lining up to jeer and taunt you as you run the gauntlet of your poor choice.
As I have been praying through the decision of staying vs going, I have realized that sometimes, they are both good options. We put too much pressure on ourselves thinking that if we pick the “wrong” one, we will be missing out on certain blessings, experiences, people that would come through our lives if we had chosen the other one (the “right” one).
I do feel a bit like it’s the FOMO (“fear of missing out”) of the Christian world. We are panic-stricken in the moment of decision because we are too scared to pick one, knowing we will miss out on certain things that would have gone with the other decision. Hear me out, though. I’m not saying that’s always true. There are definitely times where there are right and wrong decisions. I’m also saying that sometimes both decisions are good and you just have to choose one and go with it.
Pick one option and ask God to bless it
Then God blessed me with advice from my best friend: “Pray about the options and decide if anything goes against God’s Word. If neither option goes against God’s Word, then pick one and ask the Lord to bless it.”
So I did. I thought seriously through both options of staying here at ICSB or returning to Alabama. Neither option went against God’s Word. They were both good options. I knew God would be present and leading in either choice. I chose one outcome and lived with the internal decision for a week before telling anyone. I felt God’s indescribable peace once I had made a decision.
I have decided to stay in Budapest at ICSB for two more years. I might “miss out” on certain things that would have gone differently if I had returned to Alabama. I have missed (and will continue missing) a lot of things while I am overseas, yet I am reminded that we don’t always get our “picture perfect lives” like we imagined. Sometimes things work out differently, but if we are walking with the Lord, it’s still good in light of eternity.
Is this what I imagined my life to be? No – far from it.
But is this the task God has given me to do?
So I will do it.